May 11, 2026 - Disagreeing with Respect

So what happened along the way that we forgot that two people can hold completely different sets of beliefs and still treat each other with respect?

The internet has created this online world where every opinion feels like a fight. Whether it’s politics, religion, parenting, marriage, death, faith, family values… it seems every conversation carries this invisible push that we need to choose a side, defend it and destroy the other.

What happens when someone disagrees with you? Well, we unfollow, maybe mock them or just completely write them off, reducing their entire character to one opinion, maybe one social media post. We really have become a society that no longer knows how to separate disagreement from hate.

One of things I find most ironic… there was once a time we actually taught people how to disagree. Schools taught our kids how to debate. I remember doing this in school, especially college. Students were taught how to defend a position, challenge ideas, think critically, and listen to opposing viewpoints. They learned that disagreement was not the enemy… disrespect was. You could argue passionately and still shake hands afterward. You could challenge someone’s beliefs without attacking their humanity. Somewhere we have really lost that skill.

Now conversations often feel less like discussions and more like public battles. I’m guilty of it myself. People no longer debate to understand; they debate to win. It’s important to stand up for what we believe, but many times questions are no longer asked to simply ask out of curiosity, but with the intention of embarrassing and humiliating someone else. I’ve noticed social media most definitely rewards outrage more than wisdom. And the louder the insult, the faster it’s shared. The more nasty the response, the more attention it gets. And zero respect seems to follow. Disagreement is not meant to destroy relationships, but if there’s ever been a time it has… It’s been the last year and a half.

I can wholeheartedly disagree with someone’s political views and still acknowledge their humanity. I can stand firmly in my own faith without needing to belittle someone else’s journey. I can believe deeply in traditional family values while understanding that not everyone sees the world with my eyes. Respect does not require agreement and agreement does not determine a winner.

The older I get, the more I realize maturity is not found in how loudly someone argues their point. It is found in how they carry themselves when challenged… how they respond. Response tells it all! Anyone can be kind to people who are going to agree with them. True character shows most when kindness and respect remain even in a disagreement! That does not mean we abandon conviction. It does not mean compromising values just to keep peace. It means understanding there is a difference between standing firm and standing with hate.

Times have changed… times when people could sit across from one another, debate passionately about things that were important to them and still have a friendship, share a meal or a cup of coffee after. The days of friends talking through political differences, families still talking despite their differing religious beliefs… people truly understanding that we are all human and our feelings are far more complex than just our opinions… Times have truly changed.

Unfortunately, social media often rewards outrage over understanding. We’ve all seen it… I’m guilty in participating too. It’s hard to not get caught up in things that are important to you. A lot of times, we see where people, including our friends and family post… no longer to ask questions to learn anything at all, but more to bait. The post conversations  become competitions, the compassion gets replaced with snarky comments and suddenly everyone is shouting (or typing in capitals)… but how many are actually listening?

What saddens me most is watching how quickly people forget that there are real human hearts behind our screens. Too many times keyboard warriors have zero empathy for the people that may read their comments… new parents up in the middle of the night reading comments while rocking their baby to sleep, someone grieving silently scrolling Facebook for comfort, someone not able to sleep carrying burdens no one knows about, a friend wrestling privately with their own faith, trauma, loss, fear, or loneliness. Still we speak to one another online in ways that we would likely never dare to in person. Words have become awful… but words matter!

You can speak truth without being an asshole. You can defend your own beliefs without tearing someone else down. You can walk in faith without acting above someone else…. and you can protect your convictions while still protecting your character. Our world seems cruel enough some days… we do not more people screaming to be heard. We need more humans willing to speak with wisdom, humility, and restraint.

I do not expect everyone to agree with me. Honestly, I wouldn’t want them to. Different perspectives shape us, sharpen us, challenge us, and force us to really think about things a little deeper… but I refuse to believe that disagreement alone should erase common decency.

At the end of the day, long after the arguments over and the trending conversations have moved on, people may not remember every opinion we held… but they will remember how we treated them. And honestly that matters more than winning the argument in the first place