April 14, 2026 - Trust
There are moments in life when I realize, (much more than I care to admit) that I am not in control… and I’m learning just how much I can be okay with that. But…it’s important that I keep telling myself that… over and over and over.
Things shift, you may know it’s coming… sometimes you may not. Life keeps moving, whether we want it to or not and “situations” can be left to just go through, leaving you standing in the middle of something that feels bigger than you’re ready for, bigger than your strength, bigger than any understanding.
And in those moments, my own first instinct is often to tighten my grip and try to fix what feels broken (or at least broken in my eyes). I find myself wanting to react… respond as fast as I can, so that I don’t feel the weight of everything any longer than I have to. I think I have been this person, pretty much my whole life. There’s something in me that wants to restore order immediately, to make sense of what feels completely unsettled and have everything be “okay” in the moment.
But I’m learning to respect that not everything is meant to be controlled, fixed or made to be in the place I think it should be… sometimes this is all part of the plan.
There is a different opportunity in these moments… an invitation to surrender. Not to surrender in defeat, but to surrender in trust.
If I can just hang on in the moment… sometimes there’s this quiet handing over of what I cannot control and hold on my own. A breath that says, God, I don’t know how this is going to work out, but I trust You do.
I am learning that peace is not found in having control, but in releasing it. And somehow,… calm isn’t really the absence of chaos, but my ability to hang on and invite faith in, at that exact moment.
Even when everything in me wants to react, it’s okay to just chill. Some days I truly feel this more than others… something deeper calling me to pause and allow space when things don’t feel right, allow time and reflection to do what is needed. Still not easy, but I am learning… because sometimes the most faithful thing I can do is not to “fix” anything at all, but to give life room to unfold and play out on its own. Maybe… just maybe this was all part of His plan. Learning to fully trust that what is meant for me, will not miss me and to believe that even in uncertainty, God is still placing me exactly where I need to be… even if I cannot see it YET, this is exactly where I am meant to be.
And in that trust, I am learning acceptance in how to move forward differently… different can be good, right? Stepping forward, no quick rush of judgement, no panic or need to just get it over with, but with a quieter, much more calm sense of courage… one that doesn’t need to control every outcome to feel safe and know it’s all going to work out.
I am learning to walk forward while holding things loosely. Did I just really say that out loud? I am learning to let go of what I cannot change. I am learning instead of instant reaction, learning to rest.
Slowly (much slower than I’d like) I am beginning to understand that moving forward doesn’t always mean pushing harder… sometimes it means allowing life to just breathe, and trusting God with the outcome.
So I am practicing that… again and again… not perfect at all, but intentionally. Because even when I don’t have control over what is happening around me… I can still choose how I move through it. Reaction is everything and I choose trust.
